Another Birthday Looms

Well, it's almost here.  Birthday #55. 

Aside from wondering where all the time has gone, it's a good time for some reflection too.

The "Up Series" - British documentary films of a group of children starting at age 7 and filmed every 7 years, embraced the premise taken from the Jesuit motto "Give me a child until he is seven and I will give you the man".  

 

Me, about age 7, landing a jump off the stairs.

Looking back to me at age 7, I remember a girl who was chubby and self conscious of the fact.  A girl who loved music, be it singing or playing an instrument.  A girl who loved animals, dogs especially.  Who loved her family.  Who "played school" for fun!  Who hated sports, because of the competition.  Who wanted to be "the best", but hated competition - figure that one out!  Who, if she couldn't be the best, didn't want to participate.  And sulked.  Who felt socially awkward and needed to be coaxed and coaxed to join groups.  Who, once part of a group, felt very connected and loyal to the group and didn't want to leave it.  Who liked loved the comfort zone.

Essentially I am exactly the same person!

Here's me, now.
I struggle with my weight.  Luckily the last couple of years I have discovered the secret of a diet with few processed foods and the discipline of swimming regularly.  These have trimmed and toned.  However, the last three months of crazy hard work with getting the city house ready for selling and getting the country estate ready to move into have set me back.  There has been less time for food preparation so more of the nasties have crept back into my diet, and swimming has fallen by the wayside from a lack of time.  Once a week (or less) has been the recent regime.

I love music.  Singing in my choir, Burstin' with Broadway, has been one of the most wonderful experiences in my whole life!  Although I really had to step out of my comfort zone to join in the first place.  That was eight years ago and I have got myself dug in so deep that I am going to commute weekly into the city for rehearsals.  I have tried to use the choir as a vehicle to get out of my comfort zone, auditioning for solo parts and doing introductions during the concerts.  And trying not to sulk when I realize that others are wayyyy better than I am!

 

My costume for "Hair", one of last years choir numbers.

Once we are settled at the country estate I am also going to find a guitar teacher or group to join to improve my guitar skills, and spend more time on the piano, too.

I can't wait to get another dog!  Aside from a few years when my children were young that I went off dogs for a bit, I have always loved them.  Looking back at those few years I think it was more a case of being overwhelmed by parenthood at a young age and not wanting anything else to be responsible for at that phase of my life!  But now I am so looking forward to having a new doggy companion in our family. 

 

Jacob, who we looked after in May when his family were in Hawaii

 

Meanwhile I enjoy looking after other people's dogs and have jokingly suggested to Chuckle's that we start a doggy daycare called "One-At-A-Time Dog Sitting Service" since we only ever commit to one.

My original family of four is still as close as ever.  In fact, the phone lines have been buzzing this week with plans for our upcoming trip together to Mexico in early October which has become an annual tradition. 

 

Here we are last October in Puerto Vallarta

 

It is so special for us to spend a week together in a relaxed environment, being waited on hand and foot and enjoying each others company, whether we are chatting or enjoying companionable silence.  None of us has to rush off anyplace, cook a meal, or deal with work or outside concerns.  It is a very special treasure that we have maintained our close relationships, and that we have been blessed with our parents in our life for so long, this year they are going to be 88 (Dad) and 86 (Mum) and they are still both going concerns.  My sister, Jennifer, is the most selfless person that I have ever met.  She spends her whole life caring for others, her family, her pets, complete strangers and strays as well.  Only half-jokingly we often say that if you are down and out, go to Prince George and find Jennifer and she will take care of you.  It's the absolute truth, and so it is very good to see her being looked after by others at the resort. 

While I no longer "play school", my favorite pastimes are music, reading, writing, crosswords, Sudoku's and things of  that nature.  When we moved from Ontario to BC when I was eight, I was behind in arithmetic, so my Dad took every opportunity to drill my on times tables, and mathematical problem solving.  Sitting in the King Neptune restaurant in New Westminster, between trips to the trough (it was a seafood buffet, our favorite in those days), dad was making drawings on a paper napkin and I was to choose which drawing was different from the others.  After answering several of the problems successfully, he drew a picture of two candlesticks and asked which one was different?  Hmmm... that puzzled me. 

Chuckles cracks up when I draw a star on the top of finished crosswords and write "good job!"  Is that wrong, I ask you?

So looking back I see that indeed I really am the same person I was at age 7.  It's liberating to know yourself so well.  To know ahead of time what will be hard, what will be easy.  What will feel like a challenge and to weigh whether it's worth pushing forward with.  Moving from the city to the country is definitely a move out of my comfort zone, and I have doubts about it every day.  But, it's also something I really want, and have thought about and planned for over 5 years. 

So I am pushing through the self-doubt, and getting on with it, dreaming about my big garden, my new dog, the new friends and experiences that await.

Time to Celebrate

We spent a good part of the past weekend at Harrison Hot Springs Resort and Spa with Chuckles parents and his nephew and niece.  It was his parents 50th Wedding Anniversary on Saturday and their way of celebrating was to take us all away from our real lives for a couple of days.

It was heavenly.

Unfortunately Chuckles' brother and wife were unable to come for one reason and another, so we took their kids, 5 and 11 along, as the venue had been chosen partially with the kid's enjoyment in mind.  Actually Chuckles parents took the kids with them, and we met them in Harrison.

 

Our little group, minus me, relaxing outside our cottage.



We stayed in the little cottages, which are behind the hotel proper, with easy access to the pools and other hotel amenities.  It was perfect with the kids along as we had outdoor space available for them.  We took full advantage of the facilities, and used the pools a lot.  We took food along so we could manage for breakfast and lunch ourselves.  I also took Yahtzee, a deck of cards and Jenga along as the weather was not forecast to be great - however it only rained during the night which was ideal.  We spelled Chuckles parents off with looking after the kids, so it was fun for all of us, as we all had some free time, as well as fun time with the kids.  I even went for a massage in the spa.

 

Cottage 10 - "Our" Cottage



Saturday night we had a celebratory dinner in the Copper Room, which was only slightly marred by a temper tantrum by Ella who is 5.  The kids had had a very busy day and fell asleep just half an hour before we needed to get ready to go to the restaurant. We woke them up and were helping them dress.  Apparently Ella didn't want to wear the sparkly dress her mom had packed!  Things escalated from there. By the time she was calm enough to take to the restaurant she had changed into a grey T-shirt and hot pink skort, with her hair looking like she had stuck her finger in a light socket.  But, she was there and was even smiling and laughing once Uncle Chuckles got talking to her.  And we had a perfectly lovely dinner, and Chuckles parents danced several dances once the band started up.

Sunday morning, after breakfast, swims and walks and a what was supposed to be a half-hour excursion in the bumper boats for the kids, but turned into about 45 minutes including a rescue operation as Ella's boat stopped working - it was time to go. 

 

The kids in the bumper boats.

We stopped at the country estate and had a huge feed of corn and hot dogs for lunch.  The kids had not seen the place yet, so we had a look around, and Chuckles got his nephew Finn fixed up with a small bow he had, so the boys did some target shooting before lunch.

After lunch they all headed off for home, and we stayed and finished the painting in the living-dining room!  So we felt pretty good that we had been productive as well as mostly goofing off!

More exciting news is that we now have booked our movers for Saturday Sept 7th!  We decided to book them a week early to give ourselves time for cleaning at the old place, and to get things settled in at the country estate before starting the next step of the overall move - the barn renovation. 

I have another guy who has responded to the craigslist ad coming out to look at the stall doors this coming weekend, so potentially two more will be gone, leaving us with just two remaining.  I think (from his area code) that he is also from Washington State.

We still have to decide how we are going to work out the logistics of our business being in the city for the next few months, and our residence being in the country.  We have a number of options on the table, and we may utilize several of them over the period that we are waiting to move the business to the country estate.  But that's for future blogs, meantime I need to get back to work!

 

Gridlock in the City

As it so often happens, life has as way of clarifying whether or not you are making the right choices. 

So it happened on Tuesday evening when I drove my parents to the airport.

They live in the sleepy little coastal community of Gibsons, BC.  A lovely place indeed, as long as you never need to A) go there or, B) leave there.  That necessitates a trip on BC Ferries, which is an idyllic 45 minute mini-cruise through the picturesque fjords of Howe Sound.  Sounds lovely, doesn't it?  And it is, minus the expense,  the mind-numbing lineups of traffic at both ends, the overpriced and underwhelming food choices on board and the general inconvenience of having to travel at a scheduled time other than what is convenient for YOU.

So it was on Tuesday that my parents needed to leave Gibsons in order to get to Vancouver Airport to fly to Prince George, BC to visit my sister and her family.  Their choices of transport modes were limited from the ferry to the airport, and none of them really worked.  None of the ferry sailings coincided very well with the WestJet flight times.  The coach from Gibsons would get them to the airport 4 hours before their flight, which meant a long wait and a long day.  The transit bus would be difficult for a couple in their late 80's juggling canes, luggage and a laptop, and necessitate quite a lot of walking.

So, to the rescue was I - offering to pick them up at the ferry terminal and drive them to the airport.  Across the city.  At rush hour.  Since I rarely have to deal with the fray that is Vancouver traffic (except for our little commute from work to home which is all of 10 minutes) I manage to convince myself every time that it won't be that bad.  A bit like childbirth. 

And it's always much worse that I expected, a bit like childbirth.

I picked them up at 4:30 for their 7:30 flight and the plan was to drive to the airport, park and once they were checked in for their flight we would grab dinner together.

We stopped at a gas station first for Dad to get a bottle of water.  Mom said "hurry Jimmy, don't be long" and I said "Mom we have hours!" Oh, I was still so optimistic at that point!  We crawled over the Lion's Gate bridge, telling each other it would be better once the four lanes had merged into two.  We crawled through the causeway telling each other it would thin out downtown.  When I saw the gridlock that was Georgia St, we turned and went through the West End.  Very slowly, I might add.  Along Beach Ave we were practically parked, but with the motor running.  As a lone cyclist whizzed by in the new cycling lane that used to be for cars, I tried to visualize Mom and Dad on bikes of their own, and simply couldn't, it was too big a stretch.  But we'd get to the airport faster with bikes at this rate.  This stop and go (mostly stop) continued all the way to the airport.



 

Vancouver has the dubious distinction of the worst traffic gridlock in Canada.

 



On Granville St. Dad piped up with "I wonder how our lives would have been different had we bought a house we looked at just off Granville St back when you were a kid?  Instead, we bought the farm in Langley." 

Wow!  Had they done that, Chuckles and I probably wouldn't be moving to Langley again right now!  Actually Chuckles and I probably would never have met, I probably wouldn't have my lovely sons, and my parents might not live in Gibson's now - maybe a downtown condo?  It's so interesting to think about the choices we've made in life and the ones we didn't make, and where they might have led... but I digress.

It was clear when we arrived  at the airport that there was no time for dinner together.  It was well after 6 already and they still needed to check in for their flight.  So, we agreed to part at the departures drop off area, I put their luggage on a cart for them and we said our goodbye's.  It was disappointing for all of us, as we have seen less of each other than usual with the busy-ness of buying the county estate  and selling our city house.

I headed off for home.  At a snail's pace with the traffic still at the peak of snarl.   A stroke of brilliance prompted me to stop at a grocery store along the way to get the groceries I had planned to get at the store close to home.  Why do that?  I could do my shopping now, let the traffic calm down, then drive home under more pleasurable circumstances. 

The grocery stop took about 40 minutes, longer than normal since the store was completely unfamiliar and I had to keep retracing my steps looking for things I needed.  Oh well, more time for the traffic to subside.  I pushed the buggy out to the car at about 7pm, feeling my stomach growl at the smell of the hot BBQ chicken I had bought for dinner.  If I ever got home.

I unloaded the groceries and before I slammed the back gate on my SUV, I impulsively broke open the chicken package and yanked off a leg.  A huge bite later, I stood happily munching chicken in the Superstore parking lot, with chicken grease running down my chin, and no napkin. 

Hmm, with greasy hands I opened the car door and rummaged in the door pocket triumphantly emerging with a scrunched and pre-used Kleenex - that was all that I could find.  It was very inadequate.  Later I realized there was a roll of paper towel in the back, so I was able to clean up, grabbed an apple from my shopping bag and headed off in the much reduced traffic of the evening.

Driving home I thought about the convenience to the Abbotsford airport from the country estate, and the several routes to get us there - through country roads flanked by farmers fields, nary a traffic jam in sight (except Abbotsford Airshow weekend!) and realized that the decision to move where roads are wide, population is light and parking lots are half empty is a great one!

Painting, Adventures on Craigslist and other weekend bits and pieces

The painting marathon of the past weekend is behind me and I am here at my desk now, bleary eyed and coffee deprived, stunned at how little was accomplished with so much work.

We painted for 32 hours of the 48 hours that we were at the country estate!  Both of us.  One of us would stop and throw a quick meal together, then we'd eat, take 15 minutes after to digest, and get back at it.  Other than sleeping - 6 hours Friday night and 8 hours Saturday night, bathroom breaks and a daily shower, we painted non-stop!

Oh, I lie. A couple of other things happened too.  (It's all coming back to me now, the coffee must be kicking in.)

Saturday morning Carol, Chelsea and Kathy came by.  They responded to my craigslist ad selling the stall doors and front walls that we stripped out of the barn.  So two weeks ago they came and bought two sets of those, and we helped them load them up, and they poked around and expressed interest in some of the rubber mats that had been on the floor of each stall.  Our intention was to sell them also, but we hadn't got around to putting them on craigslist as we had piles of different sizes and we needed to measure and catalogue them.

It was the rubber mats they came for this week, and between the three of them, they took them all!  Which was a total bonus for us, since we didn't have to list them and deal with the crazies that come out of the woodwork in response to ads on craigslist.  The stall door ad has generated enough of those. 

So it took about 45 minutes of our time to help them load up all the mats and chat with them.  That knocks our painting time down to 31 hours to keep the numbers nice and round.  Later in the day on Saturday, another couple, Mark and his wife, came by to pick up a stall door and front, also responding to the ad.  They came all the way from Washington State!  So another hour or so was spent helping them get that loaded into their horse trailer and learning about their 5 acre property and the work they have been doing there.  That takes the painting time down to 30 hours.

These are the stall doors and wall fronts we are selling on craigslist.  So pretty we had a hard time

 bringing ourselves to take them down!

 

Then I had the most enjoyable Rona shopping experience of my life going to get more of the wall colours we were going to need.  I got the full paint cans, one of each colour we needed and took them to the South Langley Rona which had been Dawson-Brill Lumber when I was growing up.  I turned into the gravel parking lot and parked right in front of the door. As I was pushing a shopping buggy over to my truck, a very enthusiastic young employee came out and asked if he could help.  He loaded my buggy, wheeled it inside, coloured new paint for me and helped me back out to the truck when it was done, all the while chatting pleasantly with me.  I only saw two or three other customers while I was there, each receiving similar attentive service from an employee.  I had to pinch myself.  THIS was RONA??  Where were the lineups?  Where was the crowded parking lot?  Knock another hour off the painting time for the Rona trip - and that was me only, Chuckles was still hard at it while I was gone!

And still, after all that painting, all we got finished was the sunroom.  The rec room is nearly finished, I just need to cut in along the ceiling line and the corners one final coat and then it`s done.  The living/dining room is partially cut in and the ceiling is complete.  What`s done looks spectacular and I know it will all be worth it in the end.  But the end seems a long way off at this point.

Ironworkers Memorial Bridge, courtesy West Vancouver library archive

 



We packed up and drove back to the city around 9pm.  Driving over the Ironworkers bridge, I got that warm feeling in my chest that I get whenever I drive over it - it tells me I`m almost home.  Then, with a jolt I realized that in a month or so, the bridge will never signify that to me again. 

Yikes!  Change IS hard.

Movin' On

It never dawned on me that my mother would cry when I happily announced that our city house had sold.  But that's what happened.  She cried.

Now that I have had time to think about it, I understand her tears.  We have lived in this house for 17 happy years.  Seventeen years during which all our our extended family has had accommodation in the city whenever they needed it.   Our city house has been centrally located for all our out of town family who had city doctor appointments, who were flying out of town on vacation, who were enroute to another destination by car, but needed a stopover.  It has also been in Chuckles' family for 30 years, so there is a lot of nostalgia attached to it.  It seems my big life change is affecting everyone.

Combine my mother's tears with my son's query "I hope you had digging out the Japanese maple written into the contract" referring to the tree gracing our front yard that the boys bought for me when it was barely a twig.  And which Seymour the dog desperately tried to unearth when he was a puppy!  When I said they could just buy me another for the new place, he declared that it wouldn't be the same.  He's right.

Japanese Maple in our front yard

Memories, memories.

With the city house sold, and a move out date now carved in stone, I am wondering " is this all a big mistake?` Am I being selfish in making this decision that affects so many people?

Walking around our city neighborhood on Wednesday evening, enjoying the cool air after the heat of the day, I realized just how much there is that I will miss when I am gone. 

The lovely woodsy trails around the school fields and Loutet Park.  The huge garden at the end of the Park, now designated Loutet Farm with their gates sales of produce. 

 Footbridge in trails

 The Loutet Farm sign

 

Setting sun shining through the trees along the trail

Since the deal is done there is no turning back, which makes leaving, once so exciting a prospect, now very bittersweet. 

I understand my Mom's tears, as I feel my own right now, possibly for different reasons.  She is afraid of me being farther away, less accessible, and what that might mean.  I see now that we are leaving a neighborhood we have enjoyed for the past 17 years and the future is a big unknown, which is scary and exciting all at once. 

There's only one way to face it, and that's with the expectation that it's going to be great and we will make new memories in our new home.